If Only
by MaziMe
Summary: 'If only she could be mine...' Ren ponders over the subject of his affections, doubting her feelings towards him. RenxKyoko. ON HOLD.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skip Beat!**

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_'I remember when we first met. She looked so cute with her short, orange hair, adorable smile and her gorgeous golden orbs. I didn't like her at first because all she wanted was revenge but I soon grew to love her. Strange that. I'm too old for her though. I mean, she's still only twenty! I'll almost twenty-five. It's wrong, I feel like a pedophile! I realized I had feelings for her when she was just sixteen. I felt even worse then. She was still a little duckling! And I was an idiot to think she'd reciprocate my feelings. As if! She's also been ignoring me for the past few months. She'll occasionally say "Hello" but that's about it. I asked Yukihito and he just told me she was probably very busy, but I know better. She's ignoring me and I don't like it. I want to know why. If only she could be mine..._

_Ren Tsuruga.'_

Ren closed the black leather book on his desk and sighed. He leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his chestnut-brown hair. Getting up, he placed the book in a drawer. Then, he fell into his grand, plush bed and promptly nodded off.

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**Mazi: Just a little drabble I had to write down... I may write a sequel or just post it as another chapter, so keep your eyes peeled! And I guess you guys know the drill, READ AND REVIEW! \{^.^}/**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skip Beat!**

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_'I saw her again today. She's got herself a role in a horror movie. It's called The Night. Hmm... Sounds ominous! If I could, I'd go see her when I'm not busy on set. Sadly, when she has a break, she'll lock herself in her dressing room. The director, Kenchi, teased me, saying I was stalking her. Anyway, I'll probably be invited to the premier by a fellow actor (and friend) of mine, Cyrus. He plays one of Kyoko's best friends in the movie. I also can't help but say that I'm so proud of the young girl. No, woman. She's come along so much and I can't believe she was the cheeky, gullible young girl I would tease four years ago; she was the one who would clean the floors in a degrading pink tracksuit! Now she was one of the greatest actresses to grace the set! Well, in my perspective anyway. *Sigh* Sometimes I feel like a teenager... Writing about my love in a diary... Except that this isn't a diary! It's more of a... Journal. Or a little story for someone to find when I'm dead. Hopefully, it will be you Kyoko Mogami._

_Ren Tsuruga.'_

Just like last night, he closed the book and placed it (with great care) back into the wooden drawer. But tonight, he wasn't going to sleep; he needed to practice his lines. He had a new movie coming up about a demon from Hell and an angel from Heaven who fall in love at the crossing (both the edge of Hell, as well as Heaven). They then start to change. The demon would come to loathe the fiery pits and become scared of the other tortured souls, his black, leather-like wings would become white and soft, his sadistic smirk would appear less often and his scarlet eyes become to show sympathy. Unfortunately, the angel was dying. She had become drab and grey, unlike all of her fellow beautiful angels. The ending was rather strange: the demon would become an angel after he repented for his sins but the angel would die of hatred to the man she once loved and had also killed her!

An hour later, Ren was drowsier than a sloth. He placed the script onto the bedside table and dropped into bed, asleep before his head reached the pillow.

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**Mazi: Short, I know. Because of family drama, I just about got time to write this down, fortunately. The idea for the movie is actually the oneshot, Angelique from a friend of mine, LadyRitsu. I just changed it an itty bitty bit... And guys, READ AND REVIEEEEEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skip Beat!**

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He strolled into the parking lot, another day of acting done. It had gone rather well, considering he only made a few mistakes compared to yesterday's train wreck!

Yukihito said he would get a taxi home, so Ren ran to his silver Lexus LF LC, seeing a note stuck on his window wipers. He grabbed it, thinking it was a parking ticket, but just saw neat handwriting in blue, addressing to him. He stared at it thoughtfully; fan mail was always posted to LME! The scent was familiar though, like fresh lilies. He got in the car, tore open the letter and saw a date. It was tomorrow's date along with a location: the old fountain in the city park. Right at the bottom, it said, _"We need to talk. Please come! Twelve sharp."_

He was surprised. No one had given him a letter this strange before. _'Maybe it's from Kyoko!' _He thought, starting up the car. He quickly drove home, impatient for tomorrow. He was sure the note was from Kyoko. Who else would want to talk to him? It definitely wasn't a fan. He remembered that there were always two guards standing outside the entrances, catching any crazy girl that dared to enter.

It was Saturday tomorrow. He had a day off from the movie (Angel) but he had to film a commercial for a new brand of cologne at ten-thirty! Knowing Fujiwara, the director, he would keep him back until the early morning if he was allowed to! Maybe he could explain the letter to him... Would it work? _'It might. But it might not...' _Ren pondered over the idea for the next fifteen minutes before giving up. He'd just have to get it perfect the first time.

Opening the fridge, he took out a plastic container filled to brim with pasta. It was boiled in tomato purée and tuna, one of Ren's favourites! He placed a bowl with the pasta into his microwave and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

_"Conversation Two thousand four hundred and seventy-eight:_

_From: Yukihito_

_Message:_ _LISTEN REN, IF YOU WANNA BE ALIVE TOMORROW, YOU BETTER EAT SOMETHING! DX"_

He sighed. "At least I know he cares..." When the microwave beeped, he hurriedly took out his meal, diced half a cucumber, poured it into the bowl and scoffed it down like there was no tomorrow! When he was done, he wrote another entry into his "journal:"

_'Oh_ _Kyoko! Why can't you just be blunt with me and reject me instead of leading me on in a life of unrequited love?! It's killing me... But I will meet you tomorrow! I will! I don't care what Fujiwara says anymore. You're the love of my life and I can't last without you! If only (and I have said this before) you were mine! I swear, you are the first thing on my list of priorities and you always will be._

_Ren Tsuruga.'_

He stripped off and changed into a pair of sweatpants. He quickly brushed his teeth and lay in his bed, excited for the next day.

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**Mazi: Hey guys. Sorry for the wait, my aunt past away and I was caught up with that. I'm also kinda depressed but I will try to update quickly! As a side note, I noticed that I never wrote about Ren brushing his teeth or changing in the two previous chapters; let's just pretend he did all that before writing in his "journal" as he calls it... :D Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skip Beat!**

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Ren drove as fast as he could to the park. It was already twelve twenty and he didn't want Kyoko waiting there for long! The traffic was really bad and Ren had just dashed off the set when he saw the time without an explanation!_ 'Yukihito will sort it out for me... I hope!'_

As soon as he reached the park, he parked his car on the curb and ran as fast as he could to the fountain. "I'm coming Kyoko. I'm coming," he whispered to himself. He reached the fountain. No one was there. Ren frowned; he was too late! He sat on the edge of the fountain. His head fell into his hands and a tear fell from his eye. He really thought he would be able to talk to Kyoko and finally get his feelings off his (very well sculptured) chest! But it was as if fate had different plans.

"Oh, so you finally decide to arrive? You do know it's rude to keep a lady waiting, don't you?" A familiar voice shouted. Ren looked up to see long black hair and deep gray eyes.

"K-Kotonami-chan!?"

"That's right! I had to talk to you, but you took your time getting here and now you're crying about it? Seriously Tsuruga-san! Grow up!" She shouted, her hands on her hips.

"No, you misunderstood. I thought Kyoko-chan would be here. I didn't see anyone so I thought I was too late." He put his head down in shame. Why was Kanae here and not Kyoko? He was sure he could smell her scent on that letter.

The black haired beauty settled herself down next to him. "Tsuruga-san, Kyoko's been quite depressed lately and I'm certain that it's because of you."

He stared at her in shock. "What did I do? If anyone should be depressed, it's me! She's been ignoring me for weeks! Maybe even months..."

"Exactly! She's been ignoring you **because** of you! In a nutshell, she likes you."

Ren felt a weight rise from his shoulders. _'__She likes me?'_ His eyes had widened as he stared at the cold, hard ground. "Kyoko really likes me?"_  
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"No! She absolutely despises you!"

He stared up at her frowning face. "No need to be sarcastic with me Moko-chan."

Her eyes widened. "Don't you dare call me Moko-chan! Now, I have to get to work; some of us have to work to get money."

Ren smiled thoughtfully as she left. It seemed as though things really did work out...

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Kyoko opened her apartment door and switched on the light. As soon as she placed her black coat on the hanger, she caught sight of the fresh lilies on her coffee table. A letter was placed next to it. She strolled over to the table and picked up the letter. She was about to read it when she swore she knew the cursive handwriting. She opened it...

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**Mazi: HA HA HA! I'm so evil! I stopped it there because I'm evil! I AM EVIL! Ha, anyway, whatever you guys are thinking I wanna hear in your reviews! And I know that six out of seven of my followers don't... I think... Please guys! I wanna know if you're actually reading this! And your opinion! And, I am currently full of writer's block but I think I know what I'm doing for next chapter! But, I want your opinion; tell me what YOU think is gonna happen! Oh, ****Fujiwara is an OC, since **one reviewer asked who he is. You will never see him again though... Until next time, CHEERIO! 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skip Beat!**

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_'You're everything I've ever dreamed of. I was wrong all these years as I pushed you away and didn't let you in. I know we had a few arguments and tiffs, but we can pull through... Right? You can forgive me, can't you? You __**are**__ beautiful. You __**are **__talented. You have this amazing quality and I don't know how to describe it. All I can ask is..._

_Will you marry me?'_

She dropped the letter in shock. How dare he?! After everything she did for him and how he treated her in return! How could he even think such a thing?!

She fell to the floor in a fetal position. _'How dare he?' _She asked herself again.

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Ren was in a good mood; work went brilliantly, there was none of the usual five o'clock traffic and he was now in front of Kyoko's apartment with flowers. He knocked thrice.

_'I wonder what she's doing in there...' _After waiting for a whole three minutes, he tried to open the door; it swung open._ 'I bet she forgot to lock the door...'_

He heard Kyoko's voice coming from the bedroom. It sounded like... She was crying. He was about to open the door when he heard another voice, "C'mon, I know you want me. All you have to do is say yes..." Why did that voice sound so familiar?

"No! Stay away from me!" She screamed back as something, something glass, smashed. Ren, wanting no harm to come to Kyoko, slammed the door open. The sight that hit him was astonishing; there Kyoko sat against her bed with a tear-streaked face, with Shō Fuwa standing before her, a menacing smirk plastered onto his face. A broken glass lay on the wooden floor.

"Kyoko!" He called.

Shō looked up at Ren, his smirk faltering. He stepped back in astonishment as Kyoko rose up, and ran towards the brunette. He stared at the open window from where he entered before Kyoko got into her home. "You may win this time Tsuruga, but next time, Kyoko will be mine!" He proceeded to swiftly jump off the window ledge, leaving a distressed Kyoko and an enraged Ren behind him...

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**Mazi: Ooooh... Long time, no see guys... Sorry about the wait, I had LOADS of work and my life was at stake... (I.E. Personal problems...) I hope you like this chapter, it feels like more of a filling than an actual chapter, but oh, well! And don't forget! REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skip Beat!**

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Kyoko was still crying in Ren's arms as he shushed and comforted her. She was scared of Sho. He was like the devil's spawn. She hated him, but she also feared him! Now, more than ever. Why did he choose her? Why not one of his fangirls? Was he jealous of her? That could be the answer! He was jealous of Kyoko so decided to finally come crawling back to her like the garbage he was! Well she certainly did have news for him; they were **never** going to happen!

It was all his fault that she was in this situation. She could be working in the Fuwa family inn, but no, he just had to drag her to Tokyo as a simple (albeit loving and faithful) maid while he lived the life of luxury! All the things Kyoko had done for him; cleaning, cooking, missing out on her education, having no friends; all this was his fault and he took no notice of how she would just about manage to crawl back to bed (way past midnight) after either waiting for him, or cleaning up after the pig!

But... he also caused her to be unable to love for a very long time.

Kyoko finally raised her head to stare at the brunette above her. _'No, this is the man I love!' _She exclaimed in her mind as he began to wipe her salty tears away. _'I'll have to tell him sometime! No one can keep their feelings in for so long; this is the man who opened my heart! He's the one! But will he reject me?'_

_'Why is she staring at me like this? It's like she's... Gazing into my soul. I love her so much; I must tell her!'_

The two hadn't realized, but they were slowly inching towards each other, their eyes fluttering shut.

Their lips touched.

It was pure bliss...

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**M: Ok, I know it's short but at least you got an update! And it's getting romantic too... But what's the deal with Sho? And will Kyoko and Ren ever be together? I decide and you review...**


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